As lucky as I can be..

I had the oddest realization this evening. I have met a lot of people here, enjoyed all these meetings. And yet, the one person whom I am most suspicisous of, is the ONE person who is most honest with me on some level. I know basically nothing of this person. Because of his past military career, a lot of things are very secret. In fact, I know near nothing besides of what I have come to know from the day I met him 4 months ago to present day. And even what has been told to me, I am not sure is totally true. And yet, as far as I can recall, he has never wronged me or my family, has always been straight up with me when I asked his advice, has always been true in his word. I have this sense of trust that I have not had in a person in a very long while. I have often discounted his assessments and observations of me and my life because in true, he cannot be totally forthright with me about himself. The other day we were having a discussion about friendship, loyalty et al, and he stated, straight to my face, "I would stand in line to be your friend".

That line came screaming at me this evening. Out of nowhere really. I thought it sweet at the time it was spoken, but it really hit me tonight. For someone with his background to say that, must be something. And I felt poorly for not taking it more seriously. Total shit, really. It's odd being in a situation where you can't be told all things, but know a person is not dishonest with you. And to be in so many situations where people have ZERO excuse to be dishonest with you...yet, they are; and it is allowed.

I know that if you are reading this now, you KNOW who you are. I am sorry. I take some other's actions/words/opinions and let them affect me in ways that I should not. I allow them trust, that they have violated (sometimes repeatedly), where I should not. And I know you have felt discounted, unimportant or untrusted. I am not, in any way, nor ever will be perfect, but I have been unjust with you. I am so very sorry.

Life is a state of constant learning. Each day, all your life, you should strive to learn, love and be excellent in your being. I thank you, M.A.G., for reminding me of this and sharing yourself with me. You helped me see that I am as lucky as I can be.