Is it just me??
Lately, I gotta tell ya, I am feeling totally overwhelmed. I remember a time where I felt I did all the mass amounts of things on my plate, and did them well, and never had an issue. Maybe I'm just getting old. Or maybe I am not physcially capable of being as OC as my brain is.
I recall a time in my life when I had insomnia. And I thoroughly enjoyed it. I believe it started when I was around 9 years old. It was freaky at first. Then I adjusted and man, did having 19 or 20 hour days ROCK! I know now that it's not physically healthy to not sleep. It's been ten years since my schedule regulated and I now need like 8 hrs sleep (though I rarely get that-it's a denial thing), and I still miss all that time.
Seems like no matter how much I get done, I am never caught up and my list is near a mile long. I always feel like I am running crazy trying to keep up with the kids (who are not allowed more than 1 extra-curricular activity/semester), my school work, the house, yard, life.. and somehow there is never enough time for funner stuff. I know, I have to MAKE time, but that other stuff has to be done, my OC Line says so! I am not near as bad as I once was, but it's who I am. I certainly cannot focus like I once did which makes things worse!
I feel like a hamster stuck in a wheel! And it bugs me like you wouldn't believe! I use to do crafts and cooking and trips to the park/library. I realize that now some of my time is taken up with my own education, and soon working too. I think if they are gonna use cloning for anything other than growing me a new organ, it should be to clone moms! LOL
I am not sure how to get it all sorted, accomplished, and keep my sanity. I know I can't do it all, and I'm aging myself terribly, but I sure want to give it a good go!
There.. and now I'm going to go work on a paper that is due Friday and another that is due Sunday. I have been saying this since Monday. See what I mean??
I recall a time in my life when I had insomnia. And I thoroughly enjoyed it. I believe it started when I was around 9 years old. It was freaky at first. Then I adjusted and man, did having 19 or 20 hour days ROCK! I know now that it's not physically healthy to not sleep. It's been ten years since my schedule regulated and I now need like 8 hrs sleep (though I rarely get that-it's a denial thing), and I still miss all that time.
Seems like no matter how much I get done, I am never caught up and my list is near a mile long. I always feel like I am running crazy trying to keep up with the kids (who are not allowed more than 1 extra-curricular activity/semester), my school work, the house, yard, life.. and somehow there is never enough time for funner stuff. I know, I have to MAKE time, but that other stuff has to be done, my OC Line says so! I am not near as bad as I once was, but it's who I am. I certainly cannot focus like I once did which makes things worse!
I feel like a hamster stuck in a wheel! And it bugs me like you wouldn't believe! I use to do crafts and cooking and trips to the park/library. I realize that now some of my time is taken up with my own education, and soon working too. I think if they are gonna use cloning for anything other than growing me a new organ, it should be to clone moms! LOL
I am not sure how to get it all sorted, accomplished, and keep my sanity. I know I can't do it all, and I'm aging myself terribly, but I sure want to give it a good go!
There.. and now I'm going to go work on a paper that is due Friday and another that is due Sunday. I have been saying this since Monday. See what I mean??
posted by Traci @ 9:21 PM
4 Comments:
At 8:36 AM,
Holly said…
I think it's a matter of school. That's what I tell myself. That, and it's the fault of that ex husband of mine. Not entirely plausible in your case since you guys get along but...
The longer I'm in school the more meds I end up on. I was just on Wellbutrin and NOW I am also on Concerta (a really high freakin' dose) AND Prozac as well.
But I can focus most of the time. And I can have a conversation without the post-conversation anxiety of how dumb I must have sounded. And I don't want to kill myself/stay in bed all day/be depressed in other ways. So I figure it's worth it.
Eventually I'll make enough money to not be depressed or anxious, right? Isn't that why we want money? So it can buy us happiness and security?
I just woke up. Don't judge me too harshely.
At 4:43 PM,
rachel said…
oh yes, the stages of life...it really sucks when we have to give of ourselves so much to others we don't have time to do things for ourselves which would make us better for the 'others'. Such a vicious cycle, no? I am so thankful that I am able to stay home right now and be with my littlest one all day, but we sacrifice so much to be able to do so: not as many date nights, or eating out, no frivolous shopping trips or traveling, etc. Hang in there, seems like you are working hard to better your situation and once all the hard work is done, you can celebrate! For now, try to do something you LOVE just for you at least once a week. You deserve it :)
At 10:59 AM,
Glenae said…
Happy Birthday to you! Sounds like you are so busy finishing up school. When are you moving to Star Valley (Bedford)? The weather is beautiful right now, leaves just starting to turn. It was fun to get your comment on my blog. Have a great day!
At 11:51 PM,
Traci said…
Ahhhhh thanks, guys!!
Holly, you crack me up! I miss our medication talks! LOL Honey, you're amazing, you'll be fine!I can't even FATHOM the stress of dental school, Girl!
Rach, yeah, I know, I try to remember that I am doing this not only for me, but for the fam. But there are days when I go..FOR WHAT? In a 100 years, who cares?? Only I'm in right now where the mortgage guys like to get paid LOL
Glennae!! Hey! Actually..we should be there sometime before the snow flies. So in a few weeks? LOL!! Gonna rent a house (probably in Bedford) for a while and look for a house next year. Or ya know, maybe I'll never be able to afford one there! Your real estate is YIKES! Actually, I knew that because I grew up at the northern end of 89 in Gardiner, MT :)
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