Long Trip Alone

It's a long trip alone
Over sand and stones
That lie along the road
That we all must travel down

So maybe you could walk with me a while
And maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Everybody stumbles sometimes and needs a hand to hold
'Cause it's a long trip alone

It's a short piece of time
But just enough to find
A little peace of mind
Under the sun somewhere

So maybe you could walk with me a while
And maybe I could rest beneath your smile
You know we can't afford to let one moment pass us by
'Cause it's a short piece of time

And I don't know where I'd be without you here
'Cause I'm not really me without you there

Yea Yeah
Yea Yeah oh

So maybe you could walk with me a while
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Everybody stumbles sometimes and needs a hand to hold

So maybe you could walk with me a while
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Maybe I could feel you right beside me 'til I'm home
'Cause it's a long trip alone

---Dierks Bentley

Angels

Took this photo while in New Ulm as well. Found this formation, which I dubbed the Ice Angel, on the wall of a large brick building. Pretty neat huh?

No doubt, many of you have heard about the bus crash that happened last week that claimed the lives of 4 children in the neighboring town of Cottonwood. A completely senseless tragedy.

Oddly, even though I've been in the area just around 6 months, I knew the families of 3 of the 4 children. It's been a very sad time. I work with the mother of the two brothers that lost their lives. I attended their funeral on Monday. It was absolutely gut-wrenching. As a parent, I cannot imagine. My daughters are roughly the same ages as these brothers. It was my first funeral involving children. The other boy, whose funeral is tomorrow, is known to me by his mother and sister whom I am acquainted with through Girl Scouts and his father is a firearms safety instructor with Todd. His brother just got out of the hospital yesterday; so now the funeral can procede.

It's been a week filled with such emotion. As a parent, a friend, a community member and an outraged citizen (surrounding the accident's circumstances). My small kids ask "how can this happen? Why did the kids go to God so soon?" Good questions... All I could do was explain that accidents happen, God doesn't plan those, and an accident is an accident. As many of you know, I walk that fine line between religion and science. In this case, I can definitely see where religion wins out. It provides comfort to know and hope that those children are in a much better place. That because they don't exist physically here on Earth any longer, that they are 'there' . . around us, watching us.. For as a parent, I would have a hard time believing that somehow, if my child's life ended that that was just .. it. Nothing more. I know that may be selfish on my part. But it's the parent side of me that would hope for better, happier things for my children.

This week has pointed out one of the good things about being in a very small community setting. Everyone pulls together. It was amazing to visit the Lakeview School (where the boys' funerals took place) where the halls are lined rows deep with flowers and plants, the walls papered with posters of well wishes, from not only neighboring towns, but from other states as well. A community outpouring of fundraising for the families to help defray medical and funeral costs. An outpouring of support to let these families know that even though their families are smaller, their extended family reaches far beyond what they probably realized. Funeral attendance for Emilee was a 1,000, the brothers was near 1,400 and I suspect the final funeral tomorrow will not be any less.

I've been on a Leave of Absence from work. My boss wouldn't accept my resignation and put me on a 'vacation'. It's been good, I've caught up on lots of paperwork for personal and school lives, volunteered at school, visited Kimmy.. just doing 'normal' things. And be in an overall better mood. Not sure what happens from here.

Mmmmm LOVE

Valentine's Day started out much as it usually does... Heart-themed meals, small love notes and trinkets for all and a nice end of the day gathering. For the weekend, Todd took me to a Bed & Breakfast in New Ulm.

The Deutsche Strasse was my first B & B experience and it was DIVINE!!! The hosts were fabulous, the bed was the most comfortable ever, and the 4 course breakfast was too much for me to finish! It was a very welcome getaway and seriously could've stayed longer! If you've never done the B & B thing, I HIGHLY recommend it!

Also toured the Schell brewery which was great fun! Took this photo of Todd in the Brewery Museum. Too funny!

Weight of the World

Or maybe just an elephant, as Alex portrays in this photo... Things in my life feel very heavy right now. I need a vacation. Or medication. Or Sedation. Just kidding, though feeling very overwhelmed.

Went to take my dental exam yesterday. And brought every legal form of I.D. to prove who I was and show my name change. The proctoring center would not allow me to take the test because my name in the system and the name on my driver's license didn't match and no amount of legal documentation was goint to bypass that. So I drove the 3hours home, balling. Sent off a PILE of papers to get my name changed within their stupid system, mailed off $100 for a change of test date (which at least I didn't have to forfiet the $500 exam fee), and now wait for a reschedule. Hopefully it'll be within a couple weeks. I'm getting pretty sick of this whole thing. I'm starting to think that a higher being is trying to tell me something and maybe I should listen. At least I will have my bachelor degree done within the year and if I can't practice hygiene, I can at least go rep for Hu Friedy or Proctor & Gamble. The only drawback to that would be that we'd all have to move back to the Cities.

My friend, Kim, had her bilateral mastectomy today. Unfortunately, they found cancer cells in her lymph nodes too and removed them all and sent them out for biopsy. Won't have any definitives for a couple days. But definitely not what was hoped for.

And of course with the delay in my exam taking, there comes the delay in leaving Schwan's. I actually cried because I had to go there today.. and for some unforeseen amount of time. I hate it that bad. Todd and I talked. Decided to give my notice. My boss is trying to talk me into taking a leave of absence and sorting things out before making any decisions. I dunno. It's not like there is anything, and mean that literally, else to do in Marshall. But I seriously can't stand that call center any longer.

Been talking to Ken Turner a lot today. Ken is one of the people from my past that has popped up due to all this 20 year reunion stuff going on. Ken (or as I grew up with him as Kenny) moved to our school in 7th grade from Virginia. I was immediately smitten with him and stayed as such through most of HS. I bet I haven't spoken to him in probably 18 years now. Been nice playing catch up with stories of spouses and kids and life. He has since moved back to Virginia and has that thick accent, which cracks me up. Still has a great sense of humor though. It was a nice break in my day, for sure.