Call the men with the white jackets

Ok, I'm gonna admit it. I think I'm about to crack. I'm tired. I'm overwhelmed. I'm nervous. I'm pissed off. All of this to the point where I am unable to really focus and be productive with much of anything. These past 2 years have been a rough whirlwind and the end is in sight now. I've hit the wall. And I'm not sure how to get myself motivated, focused and reassured; I just know I have no option. The sooner the better.

I'm tired: of studying, writing, hoop jumping, worrying about numerous things, sleeping 5 hrs or less most days, of Argosy U, of attitudes, of selfishness, of not having time for family, friends and things much more important than any of this ever really will be

I'm overwhelmed: with studying, the kids, national boards, the house, wondering where I'm getting the $$ to take national boards, kids' extra-curricular activites, applications, school projects

I'm nervous: about passing boards, and what happens if I don't pass, wondering how I'm surviving the next 12 weeks, about being able to land a job; am I even competent enough to do it?

I'm pissed off: for doubting myself, at those of you that make yourselves unavailable when you're needed most, at the weather (MN..WHAT was I thinking??), at the fact that I can't have a pan of brownies and cry with Karin until I feel better...

Oddly, amongst this, I had the MOST fantastic day in clinic: I scored 93% on my radiographs and completed a moderately hard patient in 80 mins with no errors. Even my instructor tried to sway me from having a final today. I KNEW, for the first time in all my time there, that I had rocked it. Never had I been so sure. Even she was surprised that I got it done; and even more so when I got a 100% on the prophy (teeth cleaning). The high was short lived, but I was truly thrilled. I know you don't know what any of that means, but trust me, it is pretty cool.

What to do.. I know I need to have a big cry and let the pressure off the cooker, buck up, put on my big girl panties and just deal. But for whatever reason, I'm not allowing that. Maybe just venting here a bit will help...some.

I didn't come here for pity; I came here to sort my thoughts.

Paging Dr. Alex ??

I thought Alex was looking like a mini MD in his presurgery garb!! Pretty spiffy! And he was quite a hit down at the hospital with the staff.

As many of you know, Alex had a tonsilectomy/adenoidectomy this past Friday. I have an actual photo of said glands removed, but need to convert the format for placement on the blog.

He did swimmingly!! And it hasn't slowed him down at all! SIGH! I'm glad he's having an easy go of it.

Thanks to everyone who sent well wishes, cards, balloons and the copious amounts of frozen confections! Special thanks to Doug for flying out for the weekend and being a big help with the kids!

Our family is growing!!!

Yup! That's the HUGE news here this weekend! We're getting a new addition! No, no, no babies outta wedlock over here! I'm referring to that cute little guy in the photo! He's a red/white Shih Tzu who is 3.5 months old! We are adopting him through a mid-west Shih Tzu rescue and he's currently living in Sioux Falls, SD. Took a trip there this weekend to meet him and of course, he's a doll! Hopefully he'll be able to join us here in MN in less than a month! We're all very excited...well save maybe Griffin! He'll have some adjusting to do! He's been top dog here for nearly 3 years!

Surprise Visitor!

I had quite the surprise call early this morning from my best bud, Max, calling to say he had a 3 hr layover here in Mpls/St. Paul!! He was enroute from Montana to Iowa for training. So I went and grabbed him from the airport and took him to lunch for a much overdue catch-up session. I had missed seeing him last summer when I was home because he was out of town for work then. Though I did get to hang out with his wife, Nikki, and their sons (who are about the same ages as Becca and Alex - I secretly hope that Drew and Becca marry some day LOL). Nik - Thanks for sending the photos along! They are growing SO fast! Handsome 'lil devils!

Max and I have known each other since we were about 3. We lived on the same street for many years, were in the same class all through school and have seen each other through all of life's up and downs: relationships, marriages, divorces (all mine!), kids, houses, divorce/death of parents, moves, business/finance troubles.. the works! He's the one person from my childhood who I keep in touch with regularly. And even if those spans between contacts get a little long, we always seem to pick up where we left off, never missing a beat.

To me, Max is the epitome of a great friend. He's always got a joke or an ear, honest, genuine, always picks up the phone (or calls right back - I've recently got him texting ;) ) and would give ya the shirt off his back if you needed it; whenever you needed it. I can trust him with any bit of information - he's one of the few people I would trust with my life. And he always has the good goss from home! Max has been, and I believe, will always be, in my life.

Thanks, Max, for everything - past and yet to come. Wish we'd had more time today. Can't wait to see you again!!

Reality Check

This past week has had me thinking about several of my life's components...or maybe that's what has me feeling so hectic; too much thinking!

This new journey on reconnecting with my religion is going pretty well. I decided that even though my views may not totally agree with all Catholicism has to offer, I can find place for both my religious and scientific ways in my life and those of my children. And too, my religious upbringing contributed to part of who I am, and I decided my children have a right to experience that and make their life decisions partly based on what they get from it. Not just my experiences. All in all, I don't know all life's answers, nor does anyone, so a little faith can't really hurt. I will finally have Rebecca and Alex baptised this spring; as it somehow went by the wayside when they were younger.


Next .. Caribou Coffee..Now, anybody who knows me well enough knows that I have a serious addiction to this place! I love it! I love meeting friends there, studying there, hanging out or whatever. That was until I read their nutritional information on the web!!! OMG!!! My two favorite drinks have 600 and 900 calories each! Unacceptable..so I've spent the last week researching and doing taste tests and have decided that I can live with fat/sugar free flavored cappuccinos. Not too bad! And a small fraction of what's in what I use to drink. This will contribute to my new found want to drop the 20 lbs I put on when I left Washington. I am trying to eat and sleep better in preparation for my national written and clinical boards at the end of the semester.


This semester (which started today) is going to be physically and emotionally exhausting. A long road indeed. I have to prepare for my national exams (4), do 3 major projects, regularly scheduled classwork and find a boards patient. It seems so daunting. There have been many days where this semester seemed forever away and now I am not sure I am prepared for it. These next 15 weeks will be the most trying of my life, no question. I apologize now for those of you close to me that have to deal with me over this period. Please forgive me now, I will be stressed. My everything rides on this; failure isn't an option.


The new year is 8 days old and it appears as though the changes are again numerous for me. I am expecting many more as the year progresses and have high expectations of them all.

Welcome 2007!!!

Happy 2007 everyone!!! I hope you all had an enjoyable, albeit, safe celebration! We had a small dinner party here at our place. Also received our first real accumulation of snow last night, about 2 inches. Kids had a great time playing and sledding this afternoon.


New Year's... a time to reflect on the past and try to make changes for the future. I, personally, gave up on New Year's Resolutions a few years back. What a silly idea really. Why lie to myself?? LOL


I know the things I should/need to change. But I make that a daily effort, not just something I think about at New Year's. Sure, I could stand to lose weight, be more patient or donate a kidney, but I'm not perfect. That's ok. I always find that New Year's is about the negative.. this year, I wish for each of you to relish in the positive things about yourselves and your lives.

----------------------------------------------------
"Welcome to Wherever You Are" by Bon Jovi


Maybe we're all different
But we're still the same
We all got the blood of Eden running through our veins
I know sometimes it's hard for you to see
You're caught between just who you are and who you want to be

If you feel alone and lost and need a friend
Remember every new beginning is some beginning's end

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
That right here, right now you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome to wherever you are

When everybody's in and you're left out
And you feel you're drowning in the shadow of a doubt
Everyone's a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say

When it seems you're lost, alone and feelin' down
Remember, everybody's different; just take a look around

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
Right here, right now you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Be who you want to be, be who you are
Everyone's a hero, everyone's a star

When you want to give up and your heart's about to break
Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
Right here, right now you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
(I say welcome) Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
(welcome) you gotta believe
Right here right now, Welcome